I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
