im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
