i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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