I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
There's always time for handjobs
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
