You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
