its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i came on her dog
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
