apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
