forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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