i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
