We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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