Are we in a gay sports bar?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So vagazzling was a success
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize