Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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