Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
