5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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