I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
