I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
