what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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