You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
