i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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