She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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