at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
