2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
