I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
