i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
