So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
