i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
