Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
