He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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