In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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