im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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