He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
