great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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