You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
