I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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