That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize