I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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