I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I understand Curling. That high.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
