Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
