Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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