Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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