I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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