Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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