I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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