living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Randomize
