I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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