She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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