marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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