you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
