Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
