You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
