I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
