the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
