Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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