I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
