He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
