I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
