Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
