make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
