She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
