I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize