just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
