just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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